Thursday, February 28, 2008

Down On the Farm

Okay, part of me is a bit reluctant to put this weird story out there for all to see, but surely you nursing moms can at least relate to this feeling, so I'm putting it out there. Nursing sometimes makes you feel like a cow. 'Cause you kinda are. A cow. Providing milk for this small helpless thing, getting engorged and leaking and the whole nine yards. Never before has this been so amazingly evident, until today. First, I must explain that the P.C. term for boobs around our house is "chichis" . So, I was nursing Blake when Friggs, always good for a little mealtime entertainment, jumps up on the bed and commences to sing: "The chichis give us milk, the chichis give us milk, hi-ho the dairy-o the chichis give us milk." That's right baby, MOO.

Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Information on Water Towers

Yesterday, as Friggs and I were driving back from the DMV where I had to register my car in our new county, he enlightened me on the process of water distribution.
"Dad, there's a big, big water tower!"
"Yes, it's cool and very tall, isn't it?"
"Yeah, and that's how we get our water at our house!"
"That's right."
"It's all full of water. The big "O" at the top is like a huge circle and there's lots and lots of many waters in there."
"Oh, cool."
"Then it goes down, down, down and to our house for us to drink."
"Wow, Friggs, you sure know a lot about how water gets to our house."
"Uh-huh. And when you want milk and grape juice, they're in the jugs at the store. Because there's no milk or grape juice towers. That would be silly."
"I agree."
So, there you have it. A lesson on the distribution of various liquids from a three-year-old. Kim and I honestly have no idea where he learned what a water tower is, much less how he knows there are pipes from it to our house. And I'm fairly certain this is not innate knowledge. Our best guess is Bob the Builder or Sesame Street, but who knows?

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

What makes Jesus laugh?

Friggs does. So, we're playing a favorite game of ours on the way home from church. If you were to name the game, it might be called "Sarcastic Disposal". I usually start the game by saying, "Friggs, I don't even like you. I think I'm gonna throw you in the trash!" To which he laughs and says, "No..." in a very drawn out and knowing way while crinkling his little nose. (Don't try this with your kids unless you're certain of their confidence in your love.) Then we all laugh at the absurdity of Seth in a trash can. Then he says he's going to throw me in the trash can. Then we all laugh and say, "No..." This time the game went on for a while as Seth and I traded suggestions on who or what we should toss in the wastebasket: Grammy? No... Mom? No... Blake? No... The car? No... What got Kim and me rolling with laughter was when Friggs said, "Should we throw Jesus in the trash?" I could hardly stop laughing enough to join him when he said, "No..." Anyway, we thought Jesus was probably laughing at that one.

In other news, Friggs has been on a new shoe kick. He's always been oddly fascinated with shoes, but this is a different fascination. Literally, he wants to wear two different shoes. He's so weird. And what's worse, he often puts his shoes on the wrong feet. I decided to put a picture of his shoe choice from yesterday to illustrate my point. He had on two left shoes, one tennis shoe and one sandal.

And I also wanted to include some of Scooter's new pastime. Foot-munching. And Kim took a picture of his fat rolls to include as well. What do you call the equivalent of a double chin when it's on your rump?

Saturday, February 16, 2008

Natural Bridge Caverns

Family outing. We decided to go to Natural Bridge Caverns because we've always seen the billboards all around the state and now we live five miles from it. It was really cool. Friggs loved it. Scooter fell asleep.

Friday, February 15, 2008


Yesterday at the zoo, Friggs was very excited by the array of animals to be seen. When we went in the Africa area, we got to see the hippos through a glass wall in their tank. I don't know if he got confused about the name or if his excitement overtook his ability to pronounce words, but he exclaimed, "Look! Its a Pottamahippus!" We thought it was cute, and you should, too. Leave comments now about how funny and charming our child is. Don't tell us about similar things your kid did. Your kid is not as cute as ours and this is not your blog. Just kidding. (Not really.)

Sunday, February 10, 2008

Got Kale?

So, many of you know of my "Kale Shakes". For those who don't, I use kale (a leafy green vegatable) to make my breakfast shakes. I use my VitaMix blender, throw in some kale, frozen fruit, various other veggies, and a little fruit juice and blend it all up. Kim detests them. They're good for her, so, that's par for the course. Friggs and I, however, love them, and had one just this evening. I was watching him drink his when I came up with a campaign idea for this much-maligned veggie. Got Kale? Ok, Ok, so I "borrowed" the whole idea from a similar milk campaign, but I think mustaches look better in green.

Scooter's Tongue and Prophecy Fulfillment

Here's a pic of Scooter's new toy- his tongue. He proudly displays it quite often.

As it was written, so it has come to pass...

Yeah, so Kim was unhappy with the creation of the blog. She thought "Two Humans and Their Offspring" was too weird. So, she tried with great diligence to make me change it. I said she should poll her friends and see what they thought. TRIUMPH!! They thought it was hilarious and so it stays.


Today, Friggs and I got haircuts. This is normally an un-fun task to complete because of his inability to sit still for the stylist. Today he was awesome! A true landmark has been reached. Because of his good behavior, I rewarded him with a treat afterward by getting him some fruit snacks, and I made it even more monumental by allowing him to eat in my car (normally a huge taboo). I told him, "Friggs, you were so awesome while getting your hair cut that I'm getting you a treat. And in addition, I'm going to let you eat them in my car! Please be very careful not to drop a single one, OK?" He agreed with great delight and, thankfully, made the trip home without incident.
To understand how funny the rest of this story is, you must understand our automobile situation. We replaced my car, the two-door Eagle that I have been driving since college, with my new one a few months ago. That's the one Friggs got to eat in today. Kim is still driving the Jeep, a 1993 model, mind you. It runs fine, but has of late decided to go hay-wire and lock us out. The alarm system is malfunctioning and completely shuts down the engine for no reason. The paint is also peeling and it smells weird from what we shall say is Kim's lack of concern for what is or isn't in the floorboard. Needless to say, we have a low opionion of the Jeep.
So later in the morning, Friggs and were getting something out of the Jeep and he said, "I got to have a special treat in dad's car. The car is special. We don't eat in Dad's car." I told him he was correct and then he gently patted the side of Kim's car and said sadly, "The Jeep is not special."

kim smokes huge amounts of crack

kim thinks that something is wrong with blogger because when she posted something this morning, it dated it as Feb 11. I think maybe she's been drinking heavily or maybe smokin crack and so this will prove who is right. Right now it is 9:27 PM on Wednesday February 13, 2007.

Wednesday, February 6, 2008

First Post

Kimberly made a judgment error this evening. We have been kicking around the idea of creating a blog, so she made the comment a few minutes ago, "Why don't you create our blog tonite?" This is where she demonstrated her misplaced trust in me yet again. She should know me well enough by now to anticipate that I would create a blog with a weird name and put pictures on it that she will find, well, let's say "less than ideal". She will feign indignance and say something like, "I don't want my blog to be so weird!" This is where I will laugh at her and point my finger at her while crinkling my nose. I will reference her judgment error and insist that, deep down, she loves weirdness. Hence her love of me.
I mean, for crying out loud, people, we've been married nearly nine years. Who among you would have trusted me to create your blog? That's what I thought. So, let the wild rumpus begin!