No, this is not a pointed remark towards Obama (although it's certainly apt), this is in reference to the playroom! I read an article several years ago on an approach to getting kids to share toys and at the time I found it unworkable and sort of crazy. But about a month ago, now that Blake's favorite word is "mine" and they are interested in playing with the same toys, I was going crazy anyway listening to them whine and argue. I hate refereeing. I want them to work it out themselves, but I don't want one of them to be the bully (don't assume it's always Seth...). I was always saying things like "Who had it first?" or "Can brother have a turn" or "I know that it's yours but let him play with it. Learn to share. Be happy." For us it wasn't working. Things weren't horrible or anything, but I always felt sort of at a loss as to how to handle the situation each time. They did not play well together.
So, I reread the crazy article and decided to give it a go, at worst it would be a memorable experiment. I decided I'd try it for a month and then blog about it. Maybe it would be helpful, maybe not. Here is what the article proposes: Socialism doesn't work because it encourages selfishness. Having ownership settles disputes. How warm and fuzzy would your heart be if you were forced to share your car with another family? Chances are you wouldn't like it and would struggle with your attitude. Why force your children to do something you aren't capable of? Under the "who had it first, all share" rule, kids are concerned with getting to the good toy first, and when one kid is enjoying a toy, it makes the other kid want it. When they own a toy and decide to share it, it feels good, and they share more.
I followed the steps it layed out. I went through and labeled all the obvious owned toys with an "S" or a "B". I piled all, ALL, the community toys in a pile and called the boys. They took turns picking and I labeled away. They may not play with each other's toys unless given permission. Blake is a little young to always know whose is what, but it still works because Seth will check the initial and then tell him. I explained the rules: "These are your toys. You may decide whether to share or not. You do not HAVE to share anymore. If you leave your toys out, they're fair game." Of course, my huge fear was that they would each be content in their selfishness and never share or play together again.
Results: IT WORKS!! Really well, actually. There is no arguing. Kids love having a solid system. It's the same with Rock, Paper, Scissors -there's just no arguing with the results. Seth checks the initial and moves on, or asks Blake if he can play with it. Seth shares a lot on his own and you can see how good it makes him feel to decide to be nice. They play sweetly together - unless physically hurting each other, but that's another story. More than once in the last month, Seth has come to me and said "Mom, I think you should change the "S" on here to a "B", and I'll give it to Blake!" Oh, to see the kindness in his heart! And I haven't heard "I had it first!" in a good three weeks.
We have been readying our land out in Hunt for hunting season: clearing brush, setting up feeders, etc. While we were there on Saturday we moved some rocks and found this guy. When he stretches out he is almost as big as my hand! He is a Texas brown tarantula. We left him under his rock.
Yesterday we told Seth that we had him so that we could eat his belly any time we wanted to (we were holding him down and zerberting him, as all good parents should and do) and he said, "No, you had me to be a hard worker!!" He has such a servant's heart. Most kids would be offended by that idea!
Start them when they're young! He had fun working like Dad.
My smiley little guy. What an easy baby! He has to be - he is always getting yanked out of bed to go here or there, or popped off the breast and set on the floor so I can rescue Blake or discipline one of the older boys. He usually just lays there happily for me to return.
