How to make a kid sandwich.

Often considered a delicacy among those with a discerning palate, the kid sandwich is really very easy to prepare, and always a hit at parties. This particular recipe has been attributed to Helga Broomschnausen, the witch of Hansel and Gretel fame, but it more likely originated in Scandanavia. To begin, you will need two children, approximately 20 to 30 pounds each. They may be washed beforehand, but I've found it makes little difference in the flavor. You will also need two large pillows. Lay one "slice" out and spread the children generously onto the pillow.
Next, sprinkle imaginary salt onto the children; then use your fingers to make sure it is spread evenly onto their ribs and necks. Depending on the quality of children you have, they may be quite ticklish, which makes salting difficult. Be sure to instruct the children to be still, or the salting will last longer.


Apply the second pillow and mash firmly but gently. The children should be snug.


Now you're ready to eat. It takes some practice, as kid sandwiches are notoriously wiggly. I suggest serving this recipe with a chilled glass of grape juice.


As a side note, a kid taco can also be made using a blanket and a bungee cord. Be sure to substitute the imaginary salt for imaginary cheese when using this variation.

This was part of the fun we had when Steve and Natasha came to visit us a week ago. Their daughter, Audrey, is one of Seth's favorite playmates. We went to Sea World, played games, and of course, ate a variety of foods made from fresh children. It was great to see them.